How to Lose a Job
Start with a nice engineering job at a reputable company. Health care paid 100%, matching 401k, flex time scheduling, 15-21 vacation days per year and free trips to the annual Christmas party.
- Call in sick on a regular basis, even after you’ve exhausted your PTO.
- When you do make it in, show up late and leave early, especially for customer engagements.
- Take a 20-30 minute smoke break every 2 hours. See #1 due to the health problems associated with chain smoking.
- Complain about the heat, your bad back, being too old, etc.
- Details, schmetails. Engineering doesn’t have to be THAT exact, does it?
- Ignore any attempts by your peers and supervisors to improve performance and make you part of the team.
Nearly every one of my company’s competitors is laying off and firing people because of the economy, so everyone here is pretty darn happy that they have a job at all, and really lucky that it is at a company that actually plans on growing this year. One would think that this would be motivation to work a little harder to make sure the unemployment line is not in your future, but I guess some people just don’t get it.
